IN recent years, television and online advertising have promoted direct cremation: “keep things simple and avoid the fuss.”

Companies promise convenience, speed and lower costs, and for some families those considerations are very real. But as curate serving the Crediton and Upper Creedy Ministry Team, I want to make a gentle case for something our society risks losing: the funeral service as a shared act of love, remembrance and community.

A direct cremation may deal with the practicalities of death, but a funeral service helps us deal with grief.

For centuries, families in Devon have gathered in parish churches to give thanks for a life, tell stories, sing familiar hymns, pray, cry and support one another.

Those moments matter: they give shape to sorrow and allow relatives and friends to say, “This person mattered.”

One of the saddest things I have heard from someone who had chosen direct cremation was: “We never had the chance to say goodbye properly.”

Without a funeral, relatives can be left without a clear moment to acknowledge death or begin grieving together. A funeral is not simply for the person who has died; it is for those who remain.

For this reason, I would encourage anyone considering direct cremation to talk with family and friends first, speak to a funeral director about actual costs and how they can be managed, and have a conversation with your church minister.

People sometimes choose it because they do not want to be a burden or assume relatives would prefer something simple. Yet families are often grateful for the opportunity to gather, remember and support one another.

A church or crematorium funeral need not be elaborate or expensive.

It can be simple, modest and deeply personal, with favourite music, family tributes, local memories and quiet moments of reflection.

The ancient words of the funeral service have comforted generations because they speak honestly about both loss and hope.

All our churches, whatever the denomination, are woven into local life. Baptisms, weddings and funerals mark milestones that bind generations together. When we gather for a funeral, we are reminded that no one lives - or dies - entirely alone.

This is not an argument against direct cremation, nor a “sales pitch” for church funerals.

Every family must make the decision that is right for them, whether that is church, crematorium or direct cremation. But I hope we can think carefully before treating a funeral service as an optional extra and talk about it with our nearest and dearest.

In a world that moves ever faster, perhaps the greatest gift we can offer one another is the time and space to remember well.

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” - Matthew 5:4

Rev Jeremy Rawlings

Assistant Curate

Crediton and Upper Creedy Valley Team Ministry