LIKE many people I have greatly enjoyed reading Chris Gillard’s articles chronicling Crediton United’s history since it’s inception in 1910. I thought I would offer Chris the chance to re-charge his memory banks and relate the history of a lesser-known club named Crediton Hornets.

STARTING OUT

The club started in very inauspicious circumstances in about 1989 when Mick Waltho, father of local Tottenham diehard Gavin Waltho, arranged a friendly match against Lapford.

We were a scratch team of mixed ability straddling the line between hopeless and mediocre. Mick had led me to believe we would be playing Lapford Third team but something was lost in translation because their first team turned up.

Anyone who has followed their recent meteoric rise will know that “ friendly” is a word rarely spoken in or around Lapford and they always go for the jugular.

I have tried to wipe the match from my memory but I do recall they scored a goal approximately every four minutes. We successfully pleaded with the ref to end the match 10 minutes early.

Clearly we had set the bar very low so when we lost our first real game 8-0 we were able to persuade ourselves that we had made rapid progress.

As the main driver behind the formation of the team, I was always looking for new players and stumbled across Mark Saunders who had also run an occasion team for a number of years.

This team played an annual fixture against a team from Spreyton and also used to ship goals at an alarming rate. It wasn’t looking promising but salvation came in the shape of local North Tawton legend Steve Ward who I managed to emotionally manipulate into playing for us.

The only drawback was that Steve was addicted to watching Emmerdale, which frequently meant that we were often waiting for him to turn up.

Still for us it was as if Rio Ferdinand had signed up and Steve quickly instilled some discipline into the back four. Whereas we regularly conceded eight goals per game, Steve’s performance quickly cut that ratio down to seven per game. To be fair to Steve he scored more headed goals for us from corners than the three strikers up front put together.

YOUTH POLICY

Around this time my 16 year-old son Joel started playing for us and he brought with him the likes of Dean Pidgeon, Stuart Moss, Wayne Baker and too many others to mention.

Because we played on Astroturf with slide tackles not allowed many of those lads regarded the games as a nice warm up for their Saturday matches.

These lads had the advantage that they could keep running for at least 45 of the 90 minutes, the exception being Wayne Baker who did the running for at least four of the older players, myself included. Results improved dramatically and we began to win more games, albeit often by scores such as 8-7.

GOALKEEPERS

This is a notoriously difficult position to fill in social teams and we had a number of goalkeepers over the years. Andy Peters had been an excellent goalie in his time but preferred to play outfield.

Our most bizarre goalie was a man from Exeter (friend of a friend) who turned up to play and informed us he played in bare feet. This Sandie Shaw wannabe then downed tools after 70 minutes and said he wanted to play the last 20 minutes on the left wing.

Andy Peters obligingly went in goal for the last 20 minutes while the bloke played in his bare feet.

Remarkably he put in some good crosses and equally remarkably I gave him two more chances to redeem himself. Big mistake, especially as he never stumped up his subs for any of the games. I won’t name and shame him but if you ever see a bald, middle-aged over-weight guy acting as a steward at Exeter City it is a fair chance it is him.

OPPOSITION

We tended to play the same four teams each month, although over the 20 years that swelled to 12/13. One of the teams we played was a collection of Credion-based individuals, none of whom seemed to like each other.

During one match their right winger chose to shoot every time he had the ball, no matter where he was on the pitch. Each unsuccessful shot was met by a chorus of language asking why he couldn’t pass the ball! His reply, also using colourful language, explained that if he could pass the ball he would not have to shoot!

Another team we played, through a connection of mine was Wyvern Social Club from Taunton. They were all aged 50+ and were far from being social. Several had played professional football and a number had played in the  Western League.

We self-policed our games without a referee, relying on people’s honesty to play offside.

Wywern were quick to exploit this and alternated shouting for offside with regular random penalty appeals. They thrashed us for about a year but we gradually closed the gap and eventually held them to a 0-0 draw.

We felt like we had won the F A cup and over the years beat them as often as they beat us. One year Wyvern had a weekend tour of "NEW YORK, NEW YORK", so good they named it twice. They played two matches in Central Park, one against a Dominican Republic team containing two internationals.

It knocks spots off our tours of Cardiff, although they had their own highlights.

Another team we played were Topsham-based and we made the mistake of beating them the first time we played. For the next match they had a defender who was able to ping 60-yard passes without breaking sweat.

When I asked their captain who he was he said "That’s my mate Barry McConnell (playing for Exeter City at the time), I told him we were one short".

The next match they fielded Richard Pears, Exmouth Town, who scored four goals in the first half. I politely asked him if he could drop back into the back four for the second half to make a game of it. He just laughed and banged in another three in the second half. Some people are just so competitive!

Other classy opponents were Scott Rogers, Tiverton Town, and Warren Patmore who had retired as a professional but turned out for a team Mike Tapp from Morchard put together.

I hadn’t recognised Warren and after I complimented him for scoring a bullet header he let me know he was Yeovil Town’s all-time top scorer. I made sure I was nowhere near him for the rest of the game so that when he scored again (which he did), I could blame someone else. Sorry Andy! Tappy was another competitive player and the first time we played them he turned up with a squad of 20 and proceeded to make a substitution every two or three minutes.

POST-MATCH DRINKING

Because we played at Tiverton and did not finish until 10.30pm, drinking opportunities were limited. One week we went into the now-defunct Twyford Arms in Tiverton.

Our entrance into the pub was like a scene from Straw Dogs (1970s Vigilante film) with hostile looks coming our way. While I was at the bar buying a drink I asked one of the locals if there was a problem. He said: "One, you’re not from Tiverton, two you’re not from Tiverton and three you’re not from Tiverton".

At least I think that is what he said. The following week we went to the Trout in Bickleigh on one of the rare weeks when it wasn’t flooded. Luckily we soon managed to get an 8pm kick off slot and so could get back to Crediton for 10pm. That began our long association with the Duke of York in Crediton where Tracey would reserve seats for us and even prepare some food. Sandwiches and roast potatoes. Happy days.

HANDLING DIFFICULT PERSONALITIES

Tensions can run high on the football pitch and over the years there were a number of tense stand offs and what in those days were termed "handbags".

And that was just in the car driving to Tiverton! Boom Boom. To be fair 95 per cent of the games passed off without incident and with a no-slide tackle understanding there was less physical contact than in matches played on grass. S W came to the team with the reputation of being able to start an argument in a lift with his own reflection.

For us he was never less than a perfect gentleman, willing to play in any position and not rising to provocation. What helped a lot of the games run smoothly was that the Crediton based teams knew each other and some people played in the same teams on a Saturday. The younger lads also showed mercy to the older players like me and generally kept their nutmegs so no more than three in a game.

CARDIFF TOURS

New York seemed too flashy for us and so we opted for Cardiff where we enjoyed eight weekends over 10 years. The format was - arrive around six in Cardiff, start drinking around five past six and go to bed whenever you could successfully find your hotel room. Can a budget Ibis be classed as a hotel? We played our football match on the Saturday morning, some players barely able to put one foot in front of the other due to the previous night’s drinking.

During the first match we played there one of their players lunged at Andy Peters on a rock hard pitch and broke his leg. While we were waiting for the ambulance we noticed that none of his team mates (except for his teenage son) seemed very bothered about him. When I took this up with their skipper he said "nobody likes him". A bit harsh.

The following year two players (one from each team) seemingly had the same nickname. Whenever the nickname was shouted out Dean Pidgeon would reply "which one?". Another year Anthony Moss joined us carrying what seemed like four separate injuries. Having reassured me he was only coming along for the beer, he proceeded to play the match which took place on what can only be called a swamp. He then reassured me he wouldn’t tackle anyone. Two minutes in he wiped someone out. Who can resist the opportunity for an aqua tackle?

WHY THE HORNETS?

By now I am sure you are desperate to know the origin of our name. No, you surprise me. Our original kit was a strip passed on by Mid-Devon Recycling, very classy. When enough people had paid their subs we purchased a yellow and black strip and someone called us the Hornets. It was nothing to do with our work rate on the pitch.

Best Hornet of all time?  Tough choice with so many good players over two decades. I would plump for James Sweeney who epitomised the idea that football is a game of two halves. James was often anonymous in the first-half and dynamic in the second, 30-yard left foot goals being his speciality. Top all time goal scorer is horribly predictable - step forward Dean Pidgeon.

THE END.

I have taken a light-hearted look at the team but how else could someone like me get to play football until I was 60 (and I wasn’t even the oldest player). Great fun and great company.

As I used to tell the team in the early days “Winning doesn’t always mean being first”. This comment was generally met with a chorus of "what … is that supposed to mean?"

Julian Gebler